Banky For President

Elaine Ellis of Metzger Associates posted this blog about social media and the associated risks of posting information about yourself online. She surmised the following:

The question becomes how much information do you put out there, and then ultimately, how come men don’t have to worry about this like women do? You’ll never see an article on “How to Stalker-Proof Your Life” from GQ or Men’s Health. That by checking in somewhere or broadcasting their location, that they’re potentially putting themselves in danger.

My first inclination was to throw the Bullsh*t flag. Men do have to worry about bunny boilers as much as anyone or so I thought. I’ve been creeped out by a few women I’ve dated. One in particular would send me text messages and buy me gifts long after “she” decided we shouldn’t see each other anymore. When I didn’t reciprocate her attachment she eventually went away.

I searched GQ and Men’s Health and lo and behold, not one article related to stalk-proofing one’s life. Then I found this article from January of this year entitled, “Stalking Victimization in the United States” created by the Department of Justice. It appears that both men and women are as likely to experience harassment from another person. Women however are more likely for harassment to morph into “stalking” by a factor of 3. And women are also far more likely that their stalker have a substance abuse problem and a criminal record than men. In short, women have a better reason to be afraid that harassment will turn into a stalker. The good news, if there is any, is that women are less likely to be stalked the older they get and the more money they earn.

Consider this Banky’s Five-point guide to stalk-proofing your life (for both men and women):

1. If you have to publish, don’t publish where you are, but consider publishing where you’ve been. If you use Twitter, Brightkite, FourSquare et. al., consider checking in at the end and not the beginning. If one of your friends are in the area, you can still make the decision to get together assuming you both have time.

2. Don’t date them in the first place. Let’s face it. Needy people can be kinda fun at times. They give lots of attention and ego stroking particularly when we need it most. That might explain why we gravitate to them in the first place. Don’t delude yourself into thinking that it is good or normal behavior for someone to supplant their own self-esteem for a chance to “be” with you. Just sayin.

3. Wherever you life-stream (Facebook or Myspace) only “friend” those you know. Lots of times you’re faced with choices of accepting a friend request from someone you either don’t know or don’t know very well. Just say no. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you smart. And in the long run you may avoid whatever headache “de-friending” them causes. And remember you can keep your profile private to only those you friend.

4. Find a new way to meet people. There are other ways to meet people than to hook up at a bar or online. Get involved in professional organizations. As we learned earlier, the more money you make, the less likely it appears that you will be stalked. Finding ways to better your financial situation AND finding quality men to date don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

5. Growing older has its challenges. We also learned earlier that the older you get, the less likely you are to be stalked. Men and women view age differently. I am infinitely more attractive now than I was twenty years ago. I don’t know that many women feel the same. Many of the attractive women I know generally judge themselves with the glasses belonging to Twenty year old men. Fix that ladies. Your value is not how pretty you are. By not fixing your self-esteem, you are susceptible to the wiles of preying men who might not harass you after the relationship, but will feed off something (ANYTHING) you consider precious.

Feel free to add to the list.